Good Morning

Creator,

Thank you for rising the sun

this morning-

opening my heart-

giving me hope

for this new day.

Thank you for placing the

sacred wind

inside my belly,

breathing me into existence

once again.

I rejoice

in the gifts you give to me.

I will honor them today.

Follow (this is what's being asked of me)

Surrender.

(Trust takes a lot of courage, faith takes a lot of selflessness.)

There is nothing

you can do

(There is a difference between letting it happen and trying to make it happen.)

to make God stop loving you.

Let it flow.

Feelin' Crabby.

I am a tender crab.  As i get close to my moontime, I become all kinds of sensitive.  My skin, my head, eyes, emotions, joints, mind.  On top of that, I have committed to being conscious and aware of my moontime and taking care of it in a new way.  I am getting to learn a lot from this.  And this all feels very vulnerable to me.  I tend to want to protect myself during this time and I notice myself thinking, feeling, and acting defensive.

So all this defensiveness, I build it up around me.  I hide in it.  I feel angry, demanding, scared, tense, and worried inside of it.  And I think that I put it there to protect myself from something "out there."  From someone getting mad at me, or disappointed with me.  From projections or judgements about what I am experiencing or how I am taking care of myself.

Really, the truth is that, it's not about anybody else, it's all about me!  Haha.  Isn't that great?  We always think we want all the attention.  Well, really, we have it.  Really, it's my own self-doubt, judgement, lack of faith in myself, fear of loss, and feeling of undeservedness that's creating that defensiveness.  I am the one I am trying to defend myself against.  I am the source of that fear and tension cased inside my defensive shell.

So, it can be that way.  I've done this one for a while, I'm pretty familiar with it.  It is also another way.  And this is the way that I am practicing...
I am:
The source of my love and acceptance.
The source of my nurturing.
The source of my compassion and understanding.
The source of my health and balance.
The source of my joy and laughter!

And so it is!!



 

Release, and Breath In

This moon cycle I had the opportunity to work with some old patterns.  Before and during my bleeding days I re-visited some old emotional patterns which have gone through waves throughout my life.  I have been feeling a considerable amount of stress, anxiety, and depression.  This has had me feeling easily frustrated with things that are "out of my control," including but not limited to the anxiety and depression.  So, I am in this wave and I see it as an opportunity to work with it and be with it in a new way.  Sometimes we spiral around patterns so that we can see them from different angles.  (Note the spiral is a symbol of the Goddess/Feminine/Mother Earth aspect of creation).

My last bleeding day was yesterday.  As I have gone through my phase of "letting go" and releasing my moon blood, I am looking at what I want to create in this new moment.  I am looking at how I can be with things inside and around me with Love and Acceptance.  This has been my mantra lately.  Love and Acceptance.  When I feel like I don't know what's going on (and that's a particular scary one for me): Love and Acceptance.  When I'm feeling sad: Love and Acceptance.  When loved ones are going through something: Love and Acceptance.

Where are you at in your cycle?  If you are bleeding, what are you giving away?  Are you ovulating?  What are you nurturing?  What are you growing?  What can you create this month?

Veins

deep-runs-this-river runs deep into

the heart

Of the Mother.

deep-runs-this-blood runs deep into

the heart

Of the Mother Earth.

Paying Loving Attention

Today, the first day of my Moon Lodge, a friend acknowledged me for how connected I am with my body and its cycles. This was a great reflection for me to look at how far I’ve come on my moon journey and how blessed I am. I have been working with mine very intimately for quite some time, so it has become second nature. My connection with my body grows deeper and deeper and I am always learning. So I also just want to take a minute to celebrate myself and the healing that I have done thus far…

Yaaaaaaaayyy! Wow, I am SO grateful! This work has been healing for me in SO many ways! Yay!!! I pray that that healing go out to ALL women.

So...I am feeling inspired to write about how that is for me and encourage and inspire other women to connect with their moon cycles. It is amazing how diverse our bodies are and how diverse our Moon Lodge experiences are.

I want to thank my mom for inspiring me to keep track of my cycles. I also want to thank endometriosis. As a teenager, I had lots of intense mood swings, irregular menstruation, painful cramps, etc. The pain and mood swings and irregularity got more intense as I got older. Later I found out I had endometriosis. My mom encouraged me very early on to mark the days of my cycle on the calendar. So that’s how it started. Later, I got more in depth. In my early twenties, I wanted to know more. I created a special calendar to track how my body and mood was every day. There were particular things that I wanted to know about: when I had headaches, when I was moody or irritable, depressed, creative, sensitive, sad, when my energy was up or down, when my breasts were achy. I also kept track of my cervical fluid for a couple months to get a very general idea of when I ovulated.

This created such an amazing experience for me of honoring my body and its cycles. I felt so empowered by having an idea of what I needed at different times of the month. I was able to start taking care of myself in a really sweet way. For example, in tracking my moods, I realized that I was usually pretty tired and out of it before my moon. When I would try to do social things around this time I would end up feeling really frustrated and worn out. And I wouldn’t really have a good time. So I would plan social fun at different times. I had an idea of when I felt really creative so I would make sure to have time for writing and art projects during that time. Having an idea of when I was more tired empowered me to have the appropriate foods with high iron to replenish my blood and energy during and after my moon. There would be days where I felt super sad or funky or whatever it was and thinking, “What’s going on with me??!!” I would look back at that same day of my cycle in previous months of my calendar and notice I was feeling sad and funky on those days too. And I could just accept myself and whatever I was experiencing without freaking out about it.

As I continue to tune in with my cycle, I notice that my body has changed over these years. And I get to see more as I go. Last week I felt my hormones drop and my egg begin to die. I woke up feeling a little sad, I went into the shower and I felt a little cramp in my uterus, and I just knew what had happened. It was amazing.

Keeping track of my moon cycle was a doorway to so much healing and a deep connection with my body. I continue to feel empowered with my body. And I feel a stronger connection with the sacredness of it. I recommend it for all women. Because I love you and care about you!

Love to you!